Lately I have experienced a self-evolution where I see myself for who I have been, what I have done, and I visualize it as an opportunity to enter a realm in which I am a better version of myself. In this self & life discovery, I am finding one of the most important solutions to the queries I pose is so simple, is so fundamental, I have underestimated it. As a matter of fact, I have not understood it at all… and this is love.
In learning from a recent read, I began to realize I was missing what the concept of love really is. I realized I had never really known what it means to love. I came from a loving home with a giving father and a nurturing mother. My siblings and I were kind to each other. I entered a relationship over five years ago out of fondness for my partner. All of these aspects and experiences bathed in love and yet, I discovered my love skills lacking. This book has journeyed me down a path of the best kind of growth: the growth we undergo as we learn love. Love is a choice. Love is a decision made in each moment, repeatedly, with each person we meet, like a heart who continues to make a beat. Love actively seeks embodiment. Love likes an engagement. It is up to us do the proposal. Love is keeping your calm, despite conflicting circumstances. Love is gratitude. Love is kind. Love does not take digs. Love does not judge or discriminate. Love does not hold grudges, spread gossip, or run on scarcity. Love is a full, well-rounded circle of abundance, gratitude, peace, courage, and caring. Love heals. Love makes people feel whole. Love is being the best you for yourself and for others. Love is a random act of giving. Love is in you, just as love lives in me.
Anne Lamott wrote in her Traveling Mercies: …”Most of the time, all you have is the moment, and the imperfect love of the people around you.” I tend to believe she is right. All we have is the moment before us. Everything else is the memory of the past and the hopeful ideals for the future. Though in this moment right here, we have each other to love through the imperfections. We are not perfect, nor are others. Perfection is not the answer. The resolution lies in our intention and manifestation of pure love. And this is what I am coming to understand. Today is a gift — that is why it is the present — and it is how much love I produce with the gift that matters.
So I have practiced. Like I practice skills at the gym, or on a yoga mat. As it goes with many matters one wishes to excel at, practice must exist, and I am actively practicing love. Sometimes it proves arduous… The day isn’t going well, people (even those you love) are rude, patience feels challenged. All of these mounting obstacles are asking, “How are you going to love through this?” How are you going to show love? How will you make love persevere?”
This Christmas I made a wish, and the gift bestowed has been greater than any I have ever received: Learning to love.