Yoga Teacher Training begins before a foot ever steps into the classroom.
I arose sometime around 4 am in Southern Utah for an early morning yoga practice. A professor of mine taught Kundalini and had invited me to her home training group. It was the first time I participated in anything like this. As I moved through meditation the idea of teaching the art of yoga spoke wordlessly to my soul. Passion poured through me, waking me to live. This art seemed innately part of me. From that moment, I knew I must become a yoga instructor.
Six years passed. I’d moved many states, met many obstacles, and became a Personal Trainer; yet still not a Yoga Teacher. Then with more life changes — layoffs, cancer, a cross-country move — my partner and I decided to return back to our home state of Utah where we figured we would land for a little while. To keep our minds right, our health in check, and my career path in order, we needed to find a gym.
My partner found an incredible facility offering all the tools we consider necessities: row machines, squat racks, slam balls, benches, boxes, and a yoga program. Little did I know, one of the reasons we returned home existed within our new gym’s walls: Scholé Yoga. My partner and I began attending Scholé classes. The format was unlike anything we’d explored before. It took a few classes to find my rhythm, and as I did, I began to feel alive again, like a bird soaring through the sky on a late afternoon in July. Free. Warm. The energy created within palatable. I told my honey, “I think I will earn my certification through Scholé.”
He agreed.
The training arrived around the corner almost instantly. We did not have the money to afford it with all the circumstances mentioned before, but when I found out financing was an option offered, I figured it would do… Until I couldn’t get financed… Neither could the partner. There I stood in the repercussions of three layoffs in three years. I fell devastated, my mind now committed. In my head, I was doing this training, though I had no inkling how I was going to make it happen. I came up with a plan. As a trainer I could trade my time for a yoga sponsorship… and I did. This plan, along with the support from many, allowed me to stay the course with my dream and the ten weeks of Yoga Training ahead.
The first weekend seemed surreal. I felt like I did not belong there even though I had previously proclaimed so. I battled with doubt, fear, and anxiety. As the weeks moved on, I regained my belonging. Then I was spat on with words of bitterness, judgment, anger, and fear as my perceived path (and perceived lack of framework — i.e. not working a corporate job) was under fire. Chastised, I struggled with the enemies of Yoga: Doubt, aversion, agitation, sloth, craving. I questioned my path, my intuition — what I am meant to do, be… who I am meant to teach, love, and meet.
Week two, three, and four passed.. We learned structure, history, and sequencing in the classroom. Outside, tempting jobs presented themselves — jobs which would have distracted me from my path. My partner and I juggled opposite schedules with one vehicle. We hosted our father who is moving through cancer. I lost clients and gained others. Our dog became ill. The partner interviewed for various opportunities. I painted a room and we acquired a roommate. Then I was hit with a knowing that the enemies in my path are actually my friends. They are opportunities to choose actions, words, and people who fill my love tank, not deplete it. The realization dawned that I was actually becoming a Yoga teacher, like I was actually going to teach it! Holy shit.
Week five, six, seven. I learned adjustments and tinkered with thoughts that I could not teach this Yoga after all, surrendering incapable. I found support in my yoga community and encouragement from those around me. My journal expanded while I practiced yoga every day. I read books, gained insights. Took steps back and leapt forward. I discovered a deep connection to my breath and began to actively use it to move through challenges. I faced facets of myself I did not like, and embraced the peace which comes with letting go. My ability to listen improved. The nurturing of my partner renewed. I broke down the box I had placed the human body in and am becoming a better trainer as a result. I operate more presently. Colors shine more vibrantly.
Eight, nine.. I burned like a wick-less candle with no opportunity to extinguish. I kept moving. Compelled to not give up. Compelled to succeed. I experienced my premiere of yoga teaching with my family in tow (their first time witnessing my fitness career in action). I stumbled. I made mistakes. I kept on breathing and continued on flowing. Six years in the making, I lived my dream. I did it. I succeeded. I am a Yoga Instructor. The beautiful thing is, with a strong determination, I prevailed despite the obstacles. What is even better is I have become aware, more clearly than ever before, the storms will continue to churn and as long as I breathe, I may sail the choppy seas.
Yoga Training begins before a foot ever steps into the classroom. This is yoga’s MO — the sequence, the dance, one movement leading to the next in a particular way. Life certainly unfolds itself in a particular way, each moment leading me to exactly where I am meant to be — a budding yoga teacher, full of breath, beaming the glow of life, knowing when I want something, the Universe conspires in helping me achieve it.
Ten & Namaste.