Human

I’m an interesting human.

A good friend reminded me today how beautifully complicated I am. He loves me for my complexity because it is part of me & I unabashedly own it. The conversation transpired days following my husband kindly pointing out my tendency to over-analyze, therefore over-extend effort or thought into exhaustion. Sometimes I just need to pull the trigger. Complicated analyzer of trigger-pulling, I also revel in a simple approach to living. Simple, functional design is my zen.

This is me. Full of dichotomies, I openly share many layers of my emotions as a writer, public teacher, & speaker. I am also very private– selective of who I share my life, time, & heart with. I am content with my contrast. Not wrong, nor right, just me now.

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I wrote this piece over a month ago, yet refrained from publishing… saved in my secret world of drafts. Just because we have something to say, doesn’t mean we need to say it. The timing might not be divine. Our intent may not be pure. A relatively newer habit of mine is to check in with myself:

“Self, what is your purpose in sharing this information, or asking that question. Are you driving from the ego seat?”

If the head or heart mind nods up & down in response, take a minute. Rethink.

Thirty nine weeks & 6 days into my first, full-term pregnancy, I am discovering & rethinking many versions of myself…

I am strong.

I am mother.

I am soft.

I am voice.

I am inspiration.

I am intuition.

I am possibility.

I quiver a little less when I speak my truth.

I am not one hundred percent certain of sharing a baby bump photo in cyberspace.

I love the photo of my babies cuddling together; I revere it as one of my most sacred images.

I am open to sharing my sacredness as a way of extending light & love into the world.

I believe the human race flourishes on light & love.

I am zest for life.

I refuse to make negative circumstances my focus.

I am researcher.

I travel a pathless path anchored in ever-growing patience & friendly humor.

I am nurturing.

I choose my focus.

Individuals have asked me to write about my experience as an expectant mother.

This is what I’ve got:

I am evolution.

Plus a few more note-worthy items…

Ask before touching someone’s belly.

Pregnant women may need a listening ear much more than a boisterous mouth spewing unsolicited advice.

Just because a woman has never birthed before, does not mean they are not a mother.

Don’t assume gestational months are like a sunlit stroll of flowers & everything nice.

Keep questions open-ended: How are you feeling?

Versus: Have you enjoyed the best thing that has EVER happened to you?

Then consider skipping the how are you feeling question every day for at least four weeks leading up to the expected delivery date.

Ask: How could I support you?

Seriously though, I may feel like vomiting on you if you touch my belly there.

Some women experience a fire-breathing dragon phase named Heartburn Indigestion, also known as living, breathing hell. Watch out & don’t wave your judgy fingers when they act cranky or don’t wish to socialize.

DO NOT tell a pregnant woman she is going to lose her womanly figure.

Not genderizing baby, a.k.a. finding out whether the child is arriving biologically equipped with a penis or a vagina, pre their arrival is not CRAZY.

Encourage the pregnant mommies you know to follow their instincts. Encouragement can serve as an empowering pick-me up, a needed reminder (we’re increasingly forgetful), and free gift-giving experience all in one.

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I am an interesting human.

I am growth.

I am transformation.

I stand upon a precipice of ever-expanding change & I smile bravely.