Tag: heart

Golden Nugget

By Destiny Wallingford

On April 8, 2019

In Uncategorized

Many of you know William & I chose to keep the sex of our baby a surprise.

On Monday, March 18th, my husband was the first to find out… exclaiming, “She’s a girl! She’s a girl!”

And so we named her Winston Sheri.

Meaning happy, strong, Stone of Joy; a darling, Dear loved one who is gracious & delicate. She is these things and more.

One of the questions I dislike is, “How did she die?” I believe a much more powerful question is “How did she live?’

Winston’s purpose was grand. A wellspring of creation, she is magic who touched many during her time at home & at Primary Children’s Hospital. An ocean of love flowed from her heart. The heart connects everything, from the biological to the transcendent consciousness. I believe Baby Winnie manifested this connection in giving life as a heart valve donor. Winston knew death is not something to be feared. She taught me the natural parting of the soul from the temple which houses it is a peaceful journey.

Winnie, when I stray, lost for hope in the present moment, I will remember you in your perfect state of creation, joy, and happiness. I will remember our chapstick-kisses, your dragon calls, glamourous nails, and dinosaur feet. I will remember your heart is in my heart and my heart is broken wide open because your Golden Light and Eternal Strength pours through it. Thank you for loving me so profoundly. I am grateful to have experienced presence as rich and as pure as yours. You will continue as my inspiration for my higher purpose.

Over the years of my Yoga teaching career, I’ve sealed many classes with the following quote by L.R. Knost:

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it is ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

I love you, Winston “Winnie” Sheri Wallingford.

There is nothing like you, there was nothing like you, and there shall be nothing like you.

You are magnificent.

Thank you for being our breathtakingly beautiful Little Lady.

Winston

By Destiny Wallingford

On March 28, 2019

In Uncategorized

Winston “Winnie” Sheri Wallingford

Our little lady Golden Nugget entered this external existence March 18^th, 2019.

Our hearts are profoundly grateful for the ten days our sweet Winnie held us in her presence; she is a brave, beautiful, warrior-dragon princess.

In the abundance of the morning light, Winston left her physical form, surrounded by her father, mother, & brother. Though Winnie’s earthly body is no longer with us, she remains living through those her organs will save, the many who met her precious strength, & those who learn her story of limitless love.

Winnie is an angel of endless hope, who awakened the depths of our souls just as winter awakens to spring. Winston, we hold space for you. Dad & I are here… as a reminder of your infinite imagination. We vow to feel for you, to hear you, to listen to understand, to hold you, to love you, and pay forward your unconditional love. Winnie girl fly free you wise, selfless giver.

Bittersweet

By Destiny Wallingford

On January 23, 2019

In Uncategorized

Last night seemed surreal.

As I stepped up to the podium to read my words from the piece “Due Date“ in front of a local community of artists, writers, givers, teachers, and fellow human beings, I floated. Months of notice on my work’s inclusion in The 2019 SLCC Community Anthology, Tide, could not prepare me for the half-in-and-half-out-of-my-body-experience. The reading unexpectedly caught me off guard by proving rather difficult. I’ve read and re-read those words many times over. I know them; they are my truth, my heart. I am also somewhat practiced in sharing my truth. So what possibly could be the root of my shakiness?

The moment.

The moment couldn’t be rehearsed or re-read. The moment unlocked parts of sacred emotions stored within me, something I could not anticipate. I could not predict the depths of my truth. Losing a baby is hard. And nothing ever changes it. Not even pregnancy.

Because there I stood, 32 weeks and 1 day along my second pregnancy journey– one year, two weeks, and three days to when I miscarried– where all time encircled me as one. I wandered across a thought revolving the recent Lunar Eclipse and how our bodies parallel the shift with a monumentous karmic purge by means of bodily changes, big emotions, and traumas surfacing in the name of letting go of crowded energies. Peculiar may begin to describe what I felt pregnant, standing among strangers, mourning for a life lost. Guilt’s another good one. Guilty of being pregnant and sad. Sad for the pain endured, not just by me but by all the mommies and daddies out there who’ve felt the same kind of gut-tugging grief. I don’t know one ever moves past it, just through, with a scarlet scar on the other side.

I struggle with the question, “Is this your first?” upon someone taking in my rounded belly.

Today I found the courage to answer authentically, “No it’s not…”

My first angel is somewhere… with yours and hers and his. Our lights of infinite love and compassion. Many people thanked me last night for sharing what I wrote back in July 2018, a time where I believed period bloat overtook me. All along, I was pregnant. These threads of human experiences weave deep.

Transcend

By Destiny Wallingford

On October 3, 2018

In Uncategorized

I’ve been an instructor of movement for five years now.

I’ll forever be a student.

Just recently, I’ve felt a fuller digestion of human movement science, the body’s physical function, and alignment: Transcending the head space or analytical approach to movement, entering the heart space of inner knowing and mastery.

I’ve practiced Yoga for over a decade. This morning I remembered why I keep returning to my mat. Like the first dive into water upon spring’s edge, I immersed myself in layers of a fresh, invigorating cleanse. Pure & unafraid to be exactly as I am.

I released deeply held anger.

I fortified my connection to all that is. One with space, I felt fluid. I saw myself, aware of my internal truth. Eyes closed or open, the truth is there within. I embody it. Thank you to my instructor, a fellow conduit, who assisted my arriving. I am home. Slow, calm, intentful, breathing love. I am Transcendence.

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